I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
