I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
