So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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