do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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