Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
