go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize