See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
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Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
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ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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