everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am one with the molecules
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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