Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
