Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's never too late to be topless.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
