For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have aggressive nipples.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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