Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
