Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
