We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
