I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
