doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
