know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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