this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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