Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
