We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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