he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Green mimosas i think yes
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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