first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
