Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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