she looked like the before picture.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
