I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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