ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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