Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
