Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
