i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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