I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
