is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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