it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
