I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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