he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
