You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
