If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Everything about him screamed your future.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
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do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The air taste purple.
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