My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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