I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
