The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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