Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
