perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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