At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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