Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
