We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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