is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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