I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
