Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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