is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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