My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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