Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
