I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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