theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
