so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
