His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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