I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
