You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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