Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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