He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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