Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
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My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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