so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
a search helicopter?!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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