Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
