Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
