Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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