goodnight i made you a song goodbye
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
