Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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