I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
