Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
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Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
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it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.