I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
